Bwca Management Consulting
We all need and want respect. For a consultant, internal or external, it is mandatory that we have the respect of our clients in order to do our job. But how do we gain respect? What is respect? The author’s thesis is that respect “ability to have our words and opinions considered”. The nature of respect and the forces that create it are examined. As a result one finds that one cannot gain respect directly. Rather one must influence the forces which affect the levels of respect.
This model grew out of project I was doing for the Canadian Standards Association. As the Information Services Group began to change from a “control” to a “consultancy” role it became mandatory to gain the respect of the internal clients and to be heard.
Respect & Trust System Model
The Danger of Respect
“when we try to bring about change … we are treated first with indifference, then with abuse, and then with oppression. And finally, the greatest challenge is thrown at us: We are treated with respect. This is the most dangerous stage!”
– A.T. Ariyarante
- Respect -n.
- 2) to heed or regard to or attention to …
- 5) Deferential esteem felt or shown towards person or quality.
- 6) One’s polite messages or attentions
- 1) Regard with deference, esteem, or honour; avoid degrading or insulting or injuring or interfering with or interrupting, treat with consideration, spare, refrain from offending or corrupting or tempting.
- 2) (arch) pay heed to
- To Respect persons:
- discriminate unfairly between them under influence of wealth or status.
TO LOOK UP TO
- Trust –
- 1).(n) firm belief in reliability, honesty , veracity, justice, strength, etc. of person or thing; confident expectation that.
- 2). person or thing confided in.
- 3). reliance on truth of statement etc. without examination.
TO RELY ON
Consultation relies heavily on respect. Respect allows one’s advice and recommendations to be considered in a favourable light. It allows one to concentrate on the transfer of knowledge and assisting the client in implementation of advice and recommendations without having to constantly prove the unprovable to the impervious. On the other side, however it may cause a blind acceptance when questioning and moulding of ideas is necessary.
This model attempts to explain how one EARNS respect. The model in essence states that one cannot earn respect. Instead one must earn trust. Respect is a by-product of the trust built from a combination of your communications and your treatment of others. When combined with consistency , a feeling of predictability or trust is generated. This trust allows the audience to become open to one’s ideas. The quality of those ideas can then be judged honestly and openly. Without the trust the ideas and concepts will not be accepted as having merit. Thus respect can only be indirectly generated from the quality of one’s ideas.
In summary, one must earn a hearing before one can earn respect. Or to consider it in another light – trust can be earned, respect can only be given.
Copyright © 1994 Bwca Management Consulting and Glen Ford – All rights reserved. The use of this model without permission is forbidden.
used by permission of Glen Ford
To discuss this model write to Glen Ford
Created: 25 January, 1996, 14:44 Last Updated: 1998.03.05